A Jew On Christmas

Oh, to be a Jew on Christmas.  It's confusing.  All year long you blend in and for the most part are not looked at any differently.  But, on Christmas, Jews have the plague.  It's clear that the month of December is not for us.  I know, we have Hannukah.  Please!  Hannukah's the minor leagues next to the almighty Christmas.  Christmas rules the roost and everywhere you turn Jews are reminded that we're not Jewish.  We are like chickens with our heads cut off.  We can fly, we just don't know where to go.

It's lonely being a Jew on Christmas.  You feel left out.  We're annual outcasts and we just can't escape it.  Songs, commercials, trees, even Christmas clothing, we are constantly reminded that we don't belong.  It's ok though, we're used to persecution and oppression.  For the majority of our 5,000 year existence Jews have either been outcasts, slaughtered or enslaved.  Us Jews nowadays have it easy.  We control Hollywood and the media.  We might as well create a new Holiday.  Would nonjews know the difference?  Ask a nonjew what sukkot is.  They have no idea.  Ask me what sukkot is.  I have no idea.  It's clear we are not the chosen people on Christmas.  Or, were we just chosen not to celebrate?  I'm not sure.  I'll let you decide.

The Jewish Options on Christmas
1) Movies/Chinese Food
2) Video games
3) Card games
4) Board games
5) Drink heavily
6) Chain smoke weed
7) Watch the yule log for 24 hours
8) all of the above

Every good Jew goes to the movies and eats chinese food on Christmas.  It's The Jew thing to do.  The Jewish Christmas if you will.  Fortunately there are a lot of good movie choices this year.  Les Mis, Django, the Bin laden flick.  Jews will be seeing something and eating dumplings.
I don't know about you but I like being different.  Being a Jew on Christmas makes you different and most of the time, that makes all the difference.

To all my catholic friends....Merry Christmas!!!

To all my Jews...Baruch atah adonai, enjoy your sesame chicken!!!

Whether your Jewish, Catholic, Muslim I luv 'ya because Scott Don't Care....

The Evolution of My Friends: Single>Married

Ok, so I’m the last man standing.  As of now I am the only single one left and I feel great about it.  I don’t mind being single.

But, it kind of sucks that all my friends are either married, engaged or in serious relationships.  Thank God for jdate and okcupid, otherwise I’d have nothing to do.  If the right one comes along, great.  If not, whatever.  But this blog entry is not about me, it’s about my friends.  Things are changing.  My friends are changing.  They’re thinking differently and thinking long term.  “What are we doing tonight” has turned into “do you know how much diapers cost”.  There really is nothing wrong with that.  My friends are evolving, growing up and I’ll always love them no matter what.  But, it almost feels like some of them have taken on a different identity or have become their parents.  What’s weird is when we hang they’ll have moments of being who they once were.  Rare glimpses into their former selves.  This is neither a negative or a positive, it’s just a fact.  I love my friends for who they are, who they were, I just can’t believe the changes.  It happened so fast.  There is an evolution.  Your friends slowly turn into husbands and fathers and it usually takes place over the course of 5 years.  Below I will discuss the evolution of my friends in 5 stages:

The 5 Stages of Evolution of My Friends

11)Single

22) Serious Relationship

33) Engagement

44) Marriage

55) Fatherhood

Single- Fuck, it was a good time when we were all single.  Sex, drugs and Rock N’ Roll (well, mostly hip hop).  We were a crew.  We loved one another, looked out for each other and lived for the weekend.  My friends were carefree, less stressed and seemed to laugh a lot more.  The biggest stress in their life was their running back getting hurt on their fantasy football team.  We were young and stupid but we were too naïve to care.  My friends chased girls, took bong hits and tried to prevent responsibility at all costs.  The most fun I’ve ever had was between the ages of 23-27.  Our first love was for one another, everyone else took a backseat, even girls.

Serious Relationship- Here’s where things start to change.  All of a sudden your friends are checking in with someone.  You constantly have stories about their significant others and if their cell phone rings and you’re in the middle of the conversation, the conversation is over.  Then the drama ensues.  The fighting, the jealousy.  The breakup.  The makeup, and then it just seems to end.  Your friend gets to the point where the game of tug of war ends.  It’s almost like they throw in the towel and surrender.  You can’t beat the girl at “the game”.  Girls can live without sex, we can’t.  It’s unfair.  Your friends settle safely into their long term relationship and they seem to mellow out.  They change and if they get engaged they’ll never, ever be the same.

Engagement- Holy shit!  It’s really happening.  Only one thing matters at this point.  Do you get along with your friends fiance’.  If not, you will be seeing a lot less of your friends.  After your friend gets engaged, it becomes harder to get your friend alone away from his fiance’.  And when you do, it goes down!  Your friend tries to make up for lost time.  He hits the bottle and the bong hard.  I call it the engagement conjugal visit.  They make love to the drugs and alcohol they miss so much.  And I make love to the drugs and alcohol right along with ‘em.  Well, at least the alcohol. I no longer do drugs.  If I did, I’d tell ‘ya.

Marriage- Whoa!  It really happened.  Weddings are great.  Your friend gets married, you get real drunk with all your friends, try to bang a bridesmaid and then don’t see your friend for 3 months.  Post marriage, your friend goes into his marriage bunker.  The shock sets in and and he needs time to process these turn of events.  Then, your friend emerges like a groundhog on groundhog day.  He comes out a changed man.  He looks relaxed, secure and happy.  9 months later he looks confused and befuddled.  He realized that it all really happened.  If I ever get married I think I’ll be more shocked that I actually walked down the aisle and took part in the bullshit ceremony rather than being married.  I’m pro marriage, just anti wedding ceremony.  At the current time all my married friends seem happy and think they made the right choice.  My dad always says that marriage starts when you have kids.  That seems to be the truth.

Fatherhood- Holy Mary Mother of God!  My friends are fathers.  5 years ago they were vomiting in cabs, now their kids are vomiting on them.  I love being Uncle Scotty and when I look at my friends kids it’s like looking in a mirror.  They are basically mini me’s of my friends.  My friends have officially changed.  They’re fathers.  They are not first priority, their wives are not first priority, their kids are.  They are essentially living their lives for someone else.  I really respect that.  I hope to be a father one day.  It seems like a great time but I’m sure it’s a lot of work.  It’s become hard to see my friends who have kids.  Near impossible to get them alone in a bar.  But that’s fine.  It’s all worth it.  When I see their kids the evolution of my friends makes sense.  The prize they get at the end of their journey is their kids.  Hopefully they don’t suck.

We All change.  We all grow.  Everyday were learning and bettering ourselves.  Except yesterday.  Yesterday I set my life back a year.  I’ll save that story for my next blog entry.  If you’re single, in a serious relationship, engaged, married or a father hopefully you want to be in the situation you’re in.  There’s nothing worse then being in an uncomfortable situation.  Live, laugh, learn and get fucked up every once in awhile.  Take shots of Jameson and puke.  It’s humbling and keeps ‘ya young.

Single, married…I’ll still luv ‘ya because Scott Don’t care.

Thanksgiving

I’ll admit it. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  You wake up hungover from the night before, throw on the parade, and see Snoopy flying down 7^th Avenue.  What a mindblower!  How do they blow snoopy up?  Snoopy is big.  It gives me joy to see kids get excited when Snoopy comes flying by.  Honestly, I enjoy it.  It’s pretty cool.

Every year I go to aunt’s for Thanksgiving.  My aunt lives in Westchester which means every year my family makes the trek from Long Island.  Traffic!  Not to mention, my sister gets car sick and ends up puking in a plastic bag.  This isn’t exactly ideal when a huge turkey is waiting for you.

The same 3 families are at my aunt’s every year.  The same 3 families for 25 years.  So, the first thing I do is say hello and make myself a stiff drink.  Then I hit up the cheese plate, chips and mango salsa.  The mango salsa is where it’s at.  Then I sit down for about 15 minutes and talk to everyone.  I don’t want to be rude and run instantly downstairs to focus on football.  I can wait 15 minutes, but not a second longer.  Conversation goes well and I make myself another stiff drink.  Then I make another plate of cheese and mango salsa and head downstairs to watch the games.

Football on Thanksgiving is fabulous.  You stuff your face, you drink and root against the cowboys.  It’s pretty awesome.  My dad roots against the cowboys right along with me which is an annual bonding moment.

After the first football game is over, it’s time to eat.  And my aunt does it right.  Obviously turkey, cranberry sauce, her famous stuffing, some delicious spinach thing, and last but not least, the sweet potatoes.  I eat 3 plates of sweet potatoes.  Marshmallows on top.  It’s nothing short of epic and I look forward to it all year.  My mouth is watering as I write this with just the thought of those of sweet potatoes.  It’s an oral orgasm.

After dinner, I unbuckle my belt and try hard to deflate.  I pour myself another drink and try to drink my uncomfort away.  It never works.  I watch the second half of the second football game along with the rest of the males.  Instead of taking inventory of each others lives like we did earlier in the day, we now just talk football.  I’m sure Sanchez and Tebow will come up this year and I have a lot to say about it.  But I’ll save that for Thanksgiving.

Dessert!  Holy shit, what to eat first.  I just eat it all.  I try everything.  Apple pie. Chocolate cake.  Chocolate mousse.  Tiramisu.  I even stay healthy and try the fruit.  I make my choice on what to focus on.  It’s usually the chocolate mousse.  I don’t get the opportunity to have chocolate mousse regularly.  There’s nothing like good mousse.

After dessert, it’s time to go.  I say goodbye to everyone.  I thank my aunt for a great meal and get back in the car to sit in traffic and watch my sister puke.  It’s another year, another Thanksgiving in the books, and I look forward to doing it all again next year.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

The Search For Yourself...

When my mom died last year, I was lost.  I did not know my place in the world, my place in life.  I did not know myself.  I did not know who I was anymore.  What I liked and disliked.  Who my friends were.  What family members to trust.  I had lost my instincts, my mind, and my way.  And then one day last November a warm sensation ran down my back.  I felt like doing the super bowl shuffle.  Everything had changed but everything was the same.  I remember.  It was the Monday before Thanksgiving.  It all made sense.  Everything.  Who I was.  Who I was meant to be.  What I liked and disliked.  Who my friends were.  What family members I could trust.  I was still me.  But I was different.  I wasn’t sure if others could see it.  But I could feel it.  I felt confident.  Self assured.  Those who know me know that those are two traits I have never possessed before.  I am many things, but confident and self assured I am not.  I could look at people in the eye.  I walked with my head held high.  I spoke with passion.  I felt all of this instantly.  What I had found was myself.

They say you have to go through hell to get to heaven and this is true.  I’m not gonna go into great detail here, but many reading this know that my journey has been a tumultuous one filled with many ups and downs.  As soon as I felt like I had gotten somewhere, it was as if something was taken from me.  I envied people.  Not for the material things they had.  I envied people who had balance and normalcy.  I just wanted to be normal.  The simple life seemed like a good one.  I had never known it.  But I wanted it.  But that day in November I realized that I was not meant to be simple.  It wasn’t in the cards.  And when I realized this, it was the beginning of change.  I accepted who I was.  You can’t be something you’re not.  You are who you are and I am who I am.  To the daily passerby I look and seem like everyone else.  I’m kind, courteous, decent looking and usually seem outwardly happy.  I try hard to be unassuming and I think I succeed.  But, there’s always more than meets the eye.

My brain is always on.  I’m hyper sensitive and hyper aware.  I see and notice everything and pretend to see nothing at all.  Not anymore.  That November day I stopped caring.  I gave myself a break for the first time since I was a child and it made all the difference. I had tried so hard to be a people pleaser.  I succeeded at being a great son, brother and friend.  But I usually left myself in the background.  I felt undeserving.  So undeserving that I felt I deserved no attention.  From anyone including myself.  I constantly belittled myself and made myself the brunt of every joke.  I was a nervous wreck.  I put pressure on myself to say the right thing all the time.  I could not relax.  I’d smoke, I’d pace, I’d fidget.  It got to the point that the only thing that made me sit still was either writing or messing around on the computer.  It got so bad that it was hard for me to sit down and watch TV or go see a movie.  Wherever I was, I thought I was meant to be somewhere else.  My mind was always on the move.  But on that November day it was still.  I was at peace.  I didn’t feel euphoric or elated.  I felt rested, sound and secure. 

I was all alone and totally in the moment.  I was supposed to be exactly where I was at that very moment.  All the pain and anguish from the past dissipated.  All the pain I had watching my mom fall ill was gone.  Her spirit was still with me but I felt whole.  And I just wanted to do it all over.  But this time do it right.  I wanted to do everything I used to do.  I wanted to go back to High School, back to college, back to my old job and see all my old friends.  Everything looked different. The world was in color.  The grass was greener.  The sky was clearer.  The clouds were huge.  I felt like part of the world.  A small world.  And I was so excited to be a part of it.  I couldn’t wait to see my friends and family.  I was gonna be the same, but everything was gonna be different.  My whole perception was different.  I felt different.  I even looked different.  I remember I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.  I was me. Just different.  I was proud of who I was.  Proud of what I’ve been through.  And I couldn’t wait to live the rest of my life.  I had been given a second chance.  And I gave it to myself because I realized it’s all in your mind.  Who you are.  What you are.  What you’re meant to be.  You are what you are.  Not what your parents told you to become.  You’re not your profession.  You’re not your job.  You’re not your relationship.  You’re not the clothes on your back or the shoes on your feet.  You are what you are.  And you answer to yourself. And When you’re laying in bed at night, only one person can stop the demons from coming.  Only one person shuts off the light.  And that person is you and only you.  That’s what I realized on that November day.  I had lost everything, but instantly, I had it all.  And everyday since has been pretty great.  Things are falling into place and the mundane is interesting.  I find everything fascinating now.  I’m able to concentrate.  I’m able to focus.  I like who I am.  I’ve always been a good person, but I never gave myself the benefit of the doubt.  I only saw the worst in me.  And now I only see my best qualities.  The others lay in the background.  I know who I am.  What I’m meant to be.  And my hopes and dreams will all come to fruition real soon.  But the journey getting there has been awesome.  And it continues…

The State of Music: Part 1

Things come and go but one thing that has remained constant over the course of time is music.  Since the beginning of time our ancestors have been listening to something.  Music really is the universal language and to this day i've never met someone who said they didn't like music.  A great song or a great album will be explored forever.  It amazes me how every generation discovers Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd.  To understand music today you must explore music from the past.  It's fun to see teenagers wearing Jimi Hendrix t shirts.  Great music truly lives on.

Today music is in such a fascinating place.  Some say that modern music is trash.  Some also say that great music lies in the past and that music today can never compare to music from the 60's or the 90's.  I am not one of these people.  In my opinion, the modern state of music is incredible.  I love diversity.  At what other time could you go on your computer and listen to Mozart and then throw on Lil' Wayne for free.  Every artist is a click away.  You are free to discover everyone.  Now, it is so easy for young people  to explore every rocker, rapper and composer.  Never has there been a time where this has been possible for free.  Spotify and Youtube have made this happen and I am so grateful. Besides having every artist at a touch of your fingertips, the true beauty is that young musicians will be influenced by so many different artists and that's what it's really all about.  Their is great music being made today and I think the future of music is so bright.  I can't wait for the next Radiohead or the next Jay Z.  No one will ever be exactly like them but there will be a new band and a new hip hop artist that will be the voice of their generations.  Every generation has a label.  The '60's has hippies and rock, the '70's has coked up guys wearing platforms listening to disco, the '80's have the '80's, you know what I mean, and the '90's have flannel shirts and alternative rock.  What does the millenium have?  I think the legacy of the first ten years of this century is the rise of music festivals and the downfall of record companies.  Nowadays you have to earn your money in a live setting.  What about 2010 and up.  So far, I have to say techno is the story.  I can't believe how techno and dance music has evolved.  It's huge!  The youngsters love this stuff.  Pretty crazy.

Every day for the next 5 days I will explore a different genre of music.  I will try to keep it brief.  I can write and talk about music all day so it will be tough.  Today's entry is Modern Rock...Enjoy!

Modern Rock
In music today, there are 4 modern rock bands who can really pack arenas.  They are as follows:

My Morning Jacket
In my opinion, MMJ is the best band that has surfaced in the millenium.  I first saw My Morning Jacket at Bonnaroo in 2004.  I had no idea who they were and neither did the majority of the festival goers.  I remember them taking the stage and thinking "wow, these guys look the part".  The band grabbed their instruments and for the next 2 hours I was transfixed.  I couldn't believe what I witnessing.  I didn't speak to my friend once throughout the course of their set.  I was riveted.  I remember their set ending and I turned to my friend and said "you just saw the future of Rock N' Roll", and today I stand by my prediction.  MMJ have evolved into a band very different then the one I saw in 2004.  Their sound has become more dissonant and atmospheric.  I really like it but i'd be lying to say that I wish they would go back and make one more great country rock album.  I love every MMJ album but my favorite is "It Still Moves".  That album came out at the time I discovered the band so it will always be my favorite.  The future for MMJ is bright.  There's nothing that they can't do and Jim James is a bonafide rock star.  I'm looking forward to the future.

The Black Keys
I also saw The Black Keys that weekend at Bonnaroo in 2004 as well and alsoKings of Leon who I will talk about next.  The Black Keys are powerful.  When I saw them in 2004 and again in 2006 they were just a 2 piece, Patrick Carney on Drums and Dan Auerbach on guitar.  Starightforward, dingy, guitar rock.  A couple of weekends ago I saw The Black Keys at The Global Citizens Music Festival in Central park.  Now, they have 3 other musicians playing with them which I thought would be lame.  Surprisingly, they were just as powerful, maybe even more powerful.  They really bring it live.  My favorite Black Keys album is "Attack and Release" which was The Black Keys first collaboration with Danger Mouse.  It hits hard.  A lot harder then there last 2 albums "Brothers" and "El Camino" which are much more accessible but also fantastic.  Especially El Camino.  El Camino implements some gospel and soul.  Since it came out i've been spinning it consistently.  I love it.

Kings of Leon
The Kings of Leon have gotten a lot of shit for selling out.  I think it's unfair.  They put out an album that was more accessible but I don't think they had any idea it would crossover so much.  I think they were really caught off guard.  Anyway, i've seen them live twice.  Once at bonnaroo, once at MSG and they are much better in a smaller setting.  When I saw them on a small stage at Bonnaroo they were earning their money.  It was hot, they were sweaty, and were playing like they life depended on it.  Kings of Leon's early albums are awesome.  Aha Shake Heartbreak is one of my favorite albums ever.  That's right.  Ever.  It's beer bumping blues rock that makes you want to drink Jack Daniels and chew tobacco.  If you don't think The Kings are for real watch their documentary Tahilini Sky.  They are straight redneck rock stars.  There are rumors they're breaking up.  I hope they're not true.

Arcade Fire
I have never seen Arcade Fire live but those that have seen them tell me it's a religious experience.  I watched their live webcast from Madison Square Garden and I was blown away.  It's a spectacle.  There are like 10 people onstage and it almost looks like it's a hipster Les Miserables.  Arcade Fire have so much energy and they are such great musicians.  Win Butler writes incredible songs.  His lyrics are beautiful and he's a great storyteller.  All 3 of their albums are fantastic.  Their debut album "Funeral" is one of the best albums of the past 25 years.  It can make you laugh and cry in 45 minutes.  I remember the first time hearing it and thinking to myself that their sound is so unique.  Nowadays, it's so hard to have your own unique sound.  Somehow, nobody sounds like Arcade Fire.  Their next 2 albums, "Neon Bible" and "The Suburbs" are great as well.  Especially "The Suburbs".  "The Suburbs" is basically a concept album.  Every suburbanite can relate to it and every listener can be transported there.  I am dying to see Arcade Fire live and I can't wait to see what they have up their sleeve next.  Obviously it will be something different then before.

Tomorrow I will discuss Pop music.  Watch out Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, i'm comin' for 'ya...

Hey Foodies, Fuck You!

When did it become cool to eat?  5 years ago 75% of females had an eating disorder.  Nowadays, every girl I meet is a so called "foodie".  They like to go to nice restaurants, order some eclectic tar tar on a cracker and then talk about what their palette's response is.  It's annoying me.  I like to eat.  I like to eat a lot and when I mean a lot, I mean large portions.  I like to eat a lot of the wrong things then feel guilty about it for the rest of the day.  I'll admit it, i'm a fatboy.  In the past 10 years i've weighed 175 lbs. and 275 lbs. and now i'm somewhere in between.  Food has always been the enemy.  But now I look around and it's cool to eat.  Saying you've been to a certain restaurant is a status statement.  People talk about chefs like they're rockstars.  Am I missing something?  I just don't get it.

Iron Chef, Anthony Bourdain, Adam Richman, Hell's Kitchen!  Food is the hot shit right now.  We've all been eating throughout the course of our lives, have we become so bored that we have to obsess about what we put in our mouths?  I'm a simple guy.  I like beer, I like scotch, I like diners, I like blowjobs and I like french fries.  I'm a man.  I don't care about how my food was prepared. I just care if it's good.  I don't care about the chef and his culinary background.  I don't care about the ambiance of the restaurant i'm eating in.  I want to eat with preferably big portions, drink, get the fuck out, go to the bar and get fucked up.  If i'm on a date, i'll pretend to enjoy these trendy restaurants but I can't stand them.

I honestly hate trendy restaurants.  I hate the bar scene.  The fancy drinks.  Everyone checking out each other trying to figure each other out.  You have an 8 o'clock reservation and your not seated till 9.  The service is suspect.  You're food takes longer then usual.and the portions are miniscule.  Then, you look over at the next table and you see these deuchebags obsessing over the taste and texture of their tapas.  Get over yourselves.  It's just food!  I like art.  You go to a museum, look at a painting and it makes you feel a certain way.  You contemplate how the artist felt or how they were inspired to create this masterpiece and in turn you discuss it with the person you came to the museum with.  This makes sense to me.  I get that.  But, was chef Ramsey feeling euphoric when he created your chicken noodle soup?  Was Bobby Flay in the throws of a depressed "Blue Period" when he cooked your steak too rare.  I don't think so.  I don't see the artistic integrity in food.  My Aunt Terry is a great cook.  One day i asked her "Aunt Terry, what's your secret to being a great cook"?  She said "Scotty, you gotta cook with love.  If your love your food, it will love you back".  Now that's an artistic food statement.  Homemade cooking can be cooked with love.  Chef Mirimoto is cooking the same chicken terriyaki 50 times a night.  I'm sure Chef Mirimoto is a lovely guy, but how much love can he give in one night?

Girls, I liked you better when you were anorexic.  You were cheaper.  Now you're foodies and your costing me a fortune.  I don't remember great meals.  But, I remember ballgames, concerts, and broadway shows.  I'd much rather spend $300 on entertainment then food.  If you want to find me tonight i'll be dining at The Orion Diner tonight on 23rd & 2nd.  Chef Miguel Fernandez from The Bronx will be making me a cheeseburger  deluxe with well done fries.  Miguel's not a chef, he's an artist.  He makes the greasiest fries in the New York City.

It's just food....who cares!!!

Hey Ladies, What Are You Looking For?

Ladies.  I luv 'ya but I don't getcha and i'm starting to realize I never will.  It seems to me you all want what you can't have and when you get it, you don't want it anymore.  Hey ladies, what are you looking for?  What makes you happy?  What motivates you?  What is your purpose?  Every female is different and it seems everyone wants something different but they all want an identity or a story.  A female looks at her life like a soap opera.  Us guys are just pawns in their game.  Most of us are just characters that come and go.  Some become lead characters and some get written off the show.  But every girl needs a good story.  And every good story is filled with drama.  In every good story the drama usually revolves around the females romantic lead character.  The ladies are trying hard to figure out what they want.  But what do they want?  What do us men need today to seal the deal.  What are you looking for ladies?  I have broken down a female wishlist of what the ladies are looking for out there.  Here it goes:

Looks- The obvious #1 choice is physical attraction.  All you nice girls out there try to play it up that you're more personality/character based but we all know you care what we look like.  It doesn't make you shallow, it's important to be attracted to someone your with.  Let's face it, when your dating someone what they look like unfortunately says something about you.  In the society we live in today looks are crucial.  Plus, nowadays when your dating someone everyone can see.  Your picture with your boyfriend will be up on facebook.  Ladies need to flaunt their guy and say "look what I got".  Girls are inherently jealous and mostly cruel and competitive so looks matter.  Don't fool yourself ladies, you know they do.

Money- Oh yes, the ladies love money and they love to spend money so it usually helps if you have money. Ladies like nice restaurants, shoes, pocketbooks etc.  Now, don't get me wrong their are a lot of independent woman out there who have their own money.  But, the girls like guys who will make them feel monetarily special.  Jewelry, vacations...who doesn't like these things?  I'll come right and say it, if you have money you just went from a 6 to a 9.  Men gain 3 points from the female perspective if you have cash.  Rich guys get hot chicks for a reason and it's not because they're funny or have great personalities.  It's because they can give girls what they want and they want everything.  Everything is a price a rich guy can afford.

A Solid Profession- This is more important then one thinks.  Girls are attracted to security.  They like to know they're secure, will be taken care of, and that their man is doing something relevant.  It's important for a girl to tell her girlfriends and parents they they're boyfriend is a lawyer or in finance.  It's almost like a warped status symbol.

Sense Of Humor- To some girls this is huge.  Everyone loves to laugh.  At least that's what every girl writes in her computer dating profile.  If you like to laugh, find a funny guy ladies.  Entertainment is important.  At the end of the day, coming home to someone amusing is a bonus.  It's all about priorities.  How important is it to you to enjoy your company?  Looks, employment, moneyare huge factors but you can't buy humor.  I know some funny chicks.  I like a girl that can make me laugh.  Some girls feel the same way.

Nice Guy- Do nice guys really finish last?  Usually.  Ladies many of you love the game and for some reason enjoy getting made to feel inferior.  Why?  I have no idea but you do.  It's sad but it's true and i'll never understand it.  You love drama and with a nice, laid back guy you might not get the drama you crave.  Yes, there are some girls who like a kind, caring, compassionate guy that they can bring home to mom and dad.  A guy whose good with kids, your girlfriends love and is thoughtful.  And to the girls who respect that, props to you.  But, you're a dying breed.  Girls like mystery, jealousy and deception and nice guys don't provide that so they usually finish last.

Bad Boys- Ladies love bad asses.  Even the ones who say they don't, do.  When a guy's doing wrong he's really doing right.  There are girls who like to call and text and love not getting a response.  Their mind starts to race, they get all worked up and jealous and start thinking the worst.  It becomes a game, almost like a sick addiction.  They get addicted to the fear of unknown.  Some girls would like to put a GPS on their bad boy boyfriend.  It turns them on.  The fighting, the bickering, the "I hate you's" turns into make up sex.  It's a vicious cycle.  Beware of the bad boys ladies.

Drama- I saved the best for last and it's the underlying current behind everything I have mentioned thus far.  Girls are addicted to drama.  Their lives are reality shows.  In a single girls mind she is the bachelorette.  An engaged girl is the bride of the millenium and the married girl is thinking about the future.  Whatever that may be.  Her single days are a distant memory.  And in all the scenarios I just mentioned they're still searching for drama.  Girls need something to think about.  Guys like to think about nothing.  Girls think about relationships and sample sales.  It's sad, but unfortunately most of the time it's true.  Relationships and sample sales are a lot more dramatic then sports and sex.  Ladies, here's my advice.  More love, less drama.

Every girl is looking for something different.  No girl wants the exact same thing and is attracted to the exact same guy.  Ladies, follow your heart and not his wallet.  There's some good guys out there.  I think it's important to know what you're looking for.  Personally, I have no clue.  But girls usually have a better idea of what they want then guys.  At least they have a better idea then me.  Go find your man ladies because although this blog is called Scott Don't Care I do wish all of you nothing but love and happiness.  If you're lonely, email me...i'll keep you company...

Where To Pickup Chicks

Being single in the city can be challenging.  90% of my friends are are engaged or married  and this makes meeting woman challenging.  The lack of wingmen has forced me to run solo game.  Running solo game is tough. Unless a girl is at the bar solo, or you catch one getting a drink, it makes things hard.  Even harder, where does one single guy meet a female?  I've broken down the places a single dude like myself can get digits.  Here's the list:

Bar: This is the obvious #1 choice.  I've been working hard on my bar game.  I've come to the conclusion it's all about wit, charm and eye contact.  Girls like to be noticed so i'll try to comment on what they're wearing or laugh at their unfunny jokes.  Very hard to run game with no support.  I look to see wicht girls are looking at me.  The trick is to have no fear.  Like dogs, woman spell fear.  If you exude confidence you're good.  Also, comment on what the girl is drinking.  It's a good conversation starter.

The Computer:  I have done a great deal of online and dating I have officially thrown in the towel.  The girls usually don't look like their picture.  Their personality is usually much different in person then on the phone. Basicallty the girls i've met never live up to expectations.  Plus, I think it's whack to say you met on the internet.  I know it's worked for millions but it won't work for me.

Bookstore:  The bookstore is a very good resource.  I like to read and I can spend hours in a bookstore.  If you spot a hottie, walk over to her section and comment on the book she's looking at.  Maybe she's looking at 50 Shades of Grey.  If so, she needs some, asap.  Books are a perfect conversation starter.  You already have something in common.  You're all good.

Temple or Church:  Now I don't do places of worship but i've heard temple and church are breeding grounds.  Religion is an aphrodisiac for some.  If you have to go to temple or church might as well get rewarded for going.  Sex is not a sin.

The Gym:  This is a tough venture.  Pulling gym game is near impossible.  Girls don't feel pretty at the gym.  Guys testosterone's pumping while they pump iron and stare at themselves in the mirror.  Ladies, every guy in the gym is staring at your ass while your on the treadmill.  In order to get a number at the gym, you have to be real slick.  The conversation has to be seamless and initiated by you fellas.  Ask for a workout tip or something.  Good luck to you.

The Subway:  I recently got a number on the subway.  I can only equate it to the feeling one has when they win the lottery.  A near impossible thing to do.  Everything has to fall perfectly into place.  Where the girl is standing or sitting.  How long you're both on the subway.  What stop both of you are getting off at.  Initiating conversation.  When to ask for her number.  Many variables at play.  Be personable.

The Park:  A good resource.  The park is your friend.  A nice sunny day.  Everyone's happy.  Have a frisbee catch with your friend and have him toss a crappy throw on to the hotties towel where she's sitting.  Perfect opener.  Apologize and comment on the weather.  Start the convo.  You're good to go.

The Set Up:  Being set up seems to be a good resource for many.  I don't like it because at first you just have the person that set you up in common.  Some view this as a conversation starter.  I think it's lame.  It could be all that you have to talk about.  I'd rather be spontaneous and face the unknown.  You get a better feel for how the other person is.  This is just my opinion.  Millions meet this way.

At A Party:  Great way to meet someone.  Maybe the best.  You have the person whose throwing the party in common or you could just be tagging along with a friend.  Just being there gives you something to discuss. It's a very easy place to have a casual conversation.  You can get a good sense of someone at a party.  One of my faves.

Concert/Ballgame:  Tough but effective place to meet woman.  A concert is a good resource.  Especially at a smaller venue.  You have your love for the band in common.  Being on the same page musically is a nice start to a relationship.  Music is important to me and a chick with good taste in music is cool.  A ballgame is harder.  Girls are usually at ballgames with their friends so it's hard to get them alone unless you're sitting next to one.  A girl into sports, especially the same team is a bonus.  Don't be shy, go for it.

Wedding:  The penultimate.  The holy grail!  They live up to the hype.  When a girl watches her friend get married, they get overwhelmed with the desire to meet someone and they want the process to start immediately.  If you put in the effort, a wedding will get you laid so RSVP yes.  If you play your cards right a bridesmaid dress will be crumpled up on your floor.  Mazel tov!

Hopefully this list was helpful to you.  It's tough out there.  If you put in the effort, your bound to be rewarded.  Good luck to all you singles.  If all else fails go on the bachelor or the bachelorette.  You have a 1 in 25 chance to find love.  Better odds then the real world.  If you're really looking to find love, you'll find it.  If you're looking to get laid, just exude confidence.  Make like you know something they don't.  You should have no problem.  To my boys, happy chick hunting.  To the ladies, don't be afraid to tell a guy you're interested.  I was at a bar last week and this Lebanese girl hit on me.  She was blunt.  She's said "I think you're good looking and I find you interesting, we should go out sometime".  I nearly choked on my tongue.  She wasn't too attractive though.  We spoke for awhile.  I excused myself to take a leak.  I came back, she was gone.  I guess she lost interest...haha.

Guys, words to live be:  Don't lie to me, lie to girls...

Keep it real ya'll because Scott does care about 'ya, but no one else does...

The Fantasy Football Phenomenon. Bizarre???

It's that time of year and most heterosexual males between the ages of 18-54 are getting ready for the upcoming fantasy football season. Over the course of the next 2 weeks men will study, prepare, and get together to draft a fantasy football team. No, they aren't really coaching or playing these players. No, they are not real general managers. No, these players are not cognisant of who these men drafting them are. But yes, these fantasy football owners consider these players "their players" like they really play for them. Now i've been doing fantasy football for 10 years. I share a team with my best friend. My best friend takes this shit very seriously. So do the rest of "the owners" in my league. Am I the only guy that finds the fantasy football obsession strange?

Now I understand the competitive nature. Boys will be boys and every guy likes to be #1. But, fantasy football competition is out of control. Yes, you draft your players. Yes, you decide who starts. Yes, you can make trades and pickup guys. That's all cute. But at the end of the day the outcome really comes down to 2 things:
1) injuries
2) player performances
These are the things that are out of the fantasy football owners control and pretty much dictate the outcome of who wins and who loses.

I personally think fantyasy football is fucking stupid but I do it because it's fun to have a little bit of interest in every game and strategize with my best friend. Now don't get it twisted. I love football. But depending on strangers to win me money and give me bragging rights is pretty ridiculous.

The most amazing part about fantasy football is how serious guys take it. I know guys that sit in front of their computers from 1 PM-12 AM on Sundays just watching their players play. If that's not enough, on Monday night, if they have a player playing, they sit in front of their computers for 3 more hours. Fantasy football effects a man's mood and dictates the outcome of their week. Fantasy football can even costs men relationships. I know some guys who choose fantasy football over their girlfriends. Ladies, if your dating a guy whose a fantasy football junkie, you won't be doing brunch or getting paid attention to on Sundays for the next 4 months. Sorry.

Fantasy football has become more important to most guys then the outcome of their favorite teams game. Nowadays guys choose their fantasy football over the team they root for. I find that fucking sad. You're choosing a fictitious team over a real team that actually lines up and plays on Sunday.

Also, guys talking about the players on their fantasy team like they are "their" players.  Like they truly own them or pay their salaries. They refer to them like they know them. Almost like their performing solely for their fantasy football team. Hey owners, these players don't know you. They don't give a flying fuck about you. They play for their teams and themselves. They don't care about the extra 2 yards they picked up before they went out of bounds got you .2 points to win your week.

From the outside looking in, fantasy football is really a bizarre phenomenon. 10 dudes study for a draft. 10 dudes get together and pick players over the course of 3 hours. And during those 3 hours the dudes hardly talk to one another. 10 dudes hovering over their computers for 16 Sundays for 10 hours straight. Sounds a little crazy right?

Hey, i'm guilty. I have my draft on Thursday and i'll see all my friends in one room and we'll all bullshit and catch up for 10 minutes and have a drink. 10 minutes later we'll get down to business.  We'll sit down, begin to make picks and the time will just stand still. Those 3 hours feel like 3 years. Finally we'll finish, say goodnight and head out with a new team for a new year. And we won't all assemble together to the next year where the  same thing will happen once again.  Bizarre!

Are you ready for some fantasy football? Who cares...

The Doorman (The Most Important Man In Your Life)

There are so many things that make New York, New York.  Times Square, being stuffed like a sardine on the subway, watching people walk the streets talking to themselves on their hands free phones, and doorman buildings.  I am fascinated by the doorman.  Is it really necessary for someone to open the door for you?  Who the fuck do you think you are?  One day I may be worth millions of dollars but i'll be opening my own door.  What's next, somebody gonna wipe your ass?

On the surface, your doorman is your best friend.  He smiles at 'ya, tips his cap, helps you carry your groceries in.  But secretly, he can't stand you.  To him your some rich asshole who thinks they're better then everybody else.  Your doorman goes home and says "that bitch in apartment 4C made me shlep her luggage. My fuckin' back's killing me.  She better hook me up up Christmas time".  That's what your doorman says to his wife when he gets home.  He doesn't like you, but you better be on good terms with him because he knows everything about you.  They know what you do, where you live, he has a key to your apartment and he controls your mail.  They know everything.  And they especially know how much you gave them for Christmas.  Take care of your doorman, otherwise your life's in danger.

The doorman might be the most important man in your life.  He must be on your side.  It's essential.  You see a doorman is not just a doorman, he's a hustler.  The doorman is like Morgan Freeman is The Shawshank Redemption, he's a man that that is known to locate things from time to time.  A good doorman can get you:

1) Drugs

2) A booky to gamble with

3) A hooker

That's the power of a good doorman.  A good doorman takes care of his tenants.  And those 3 thing provide many people happiness.  Now, I no longer take part in any of these activities but I know many people that do and it all comes from their doorman.

Last but not least, your doorman knows who you're sleeping with.  They know if you're cheating and they know if you bring home a different girl every night.  If you go home with a girl who lives in a doorman building, you can tell the way the doorman reacts to you walking in the lobby if you're a rarity or just another dude.  I once had a doorman tell me "to have a good time".  2 hours later he was talking shit to me about the girl I slept with in the lobby and as I was leaving he called her a "cheap bitch".

In summary, your doorman is the most important man in your life.  He's your lifeline, your soulmate, your brother from another mother.  Hook your doorman up or you might be getting divorced or you might not be getting your mail.  Use this blog entry as a warning.  Bump up your Christmas bonus to your doorman $200.  You'll thank me later...

-Care about your doorman.  Hook 'em up 'ya cheap bastards!

Obsessed With Fame...

This is something I think about a lot.  Would I want to be famous?  Most likely I will never be a household name, and  think i'm alright with that.  I can't imagine stepping out of my house and having a bunch of strangers take pictures of me in my underwear getting the newspaper at 8 AM.  Who wants go to CVS to pickup a prescription and have middle aged men jumping in front of your car to get a photo.  It just seems so bizarre.  Why does everyone want to be famous?

The world is obsessed with fame.  Apparently everyone wants to feel special and be recognized.  Everybody has something to say, including me, hence this blog.  What happened to anonimity?  What's so bad about living a quiet life, having a select group of friends, getting married and having kids.  Nothing wrong with that.  But people just obsess over other people's lives which leads me to believe that somewhere there's a whole in their lives.  Should I care that Kim kardashian is dating Kanye?

Stop and take a look around.  Do you see what's on TV.  People will do anything to get on TV and have the spotlight shined on them for 15 minutes.  TV shows like Springer, Maury, all the legal shows and Dr. Phil.  Nothing against Dr. Phil, but why are these bozos going on national TV to talk about their anger issues and infidelity.  Aren't they embarassed?  Don't they realized the whole country can see this.  I realize they want help but on national TV.  Dr. Phil's good, but he's not that good.

Reality TV has warped America's brains.  There are so many reality shows that I can pick apart but I will focus on two.  I will focus on The Housewives and The Bachelor/ette.

The Housewives just baffles me.  These woman fight, bicker and pick each other apart.  They're millionaires and they're fucking miserable.  They are inherently jealous want everything but nothing gives them any pleasure.  They have big parties and go on lavish vacations strictly to annoy each other and cause drama.  And sadly, every female I know watches it.  It's crazy.  Why should we care if Caroline and Theresa are fighting over stromboli in their mansions in New Jersey?  They're really not that interesting yet we watch.  What does that say about us as a society?

The Bachelor and Bachlorette is the lowest form of TV.  25 dudes or ladies trying to win the heart of 1.  What the fuck is going on here?  How the hell does anyone date 25 people at one time.  These bachelors and bachelorettes go on these dream dates with 5 woman at a time.  Finally 25 becomes 2 and both guys and girls are 100% convinced that they are getting engaged.  I don't understand how everyone loves to see some dude get his heartbroken and national TV.  And when it happens, it ain't pretty.  They kneel down on one knee and get denied.  We sit at home eating popcorn and watch these idiots get their 15 minutes while having their heartbroken.  What does that say about us?  Why would these people want to subject themselves to this.  For true love?  Bullshit, they are searching for fame and a reality career.

Being a rock star or movie star must be pretty cool.  Strangers adore you.  Can you imagine strangers coming up to you saying they love you?  It must feel empty.  I hear it's lonely at the top.  Look at Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston.  They had everything and nothing at the same time.

People, do what makes you happy.  Live your own lives.  Worry about your family and friends, not about Brad and Angelina.  They're not worried about you.  John Lennon said it best "you're a superstar. that's right you are".  We're all significant, special and beautiful, but you have to see that for yourself.  You're not gonna see that watching The Bachelor or The Housewives.

-Forget about being famous, who cares!

  

Judo & Ganja Don't Mix...

Why is American Judo fighter, Nick Delpopolo eating ganja brownies before the Olympics?  Nick Delpoplo was in London representing The United States preparing literally to kick some ass.  The 23 year old from Westfield, NJ failed a drug test and then took the high road and said that he had unintentionally ate something before the games that had been baked with weed.  Are you kidding me!  You're 23. You fucked up.  Own it.  You don't eat pot brownies by mistake, Nick.  

Listen, I don't think marijuana should be illegal.  But Nick, you're going to the Olympics, wait till you get back home, smoke yourself silly and nosh on ganja brownies all day.  You blew it!  All the training, all the hard work for nothing.  

What's sad is that Nick truly is the perfect representative for this country.  Most 23 year olds are eating pot brownies and most 23 year olds would fail a drug test.  

What I don't get is, why would the Olympic committee reprimand him?  They should let him fight.  I don't know about you but back in the day when I ate pot brownies, the last thing I felt like doing was spin kicks and karate chops.  Who the hell can win a judo match high?  

The crazy thing about weed is that it stays in your system between 4-6 weeks.  That was Nick Delpopolo's problem.  Nick, you're going to The Olympics, get your ass to GNC, get the cleanse and get that weed out of your system like every American does.  GNC has gotten more people jobs then Access Staffing.  

Nick, where was your sense' (coach).  His job is to have you beat drug tests.  

Nick, you've dishonored yourself, your sense' and your country.  But, you kept it real and I respect that.  You just got caught.  Nick, you should eat another batch of pot brownies and kick your own ass.

-But In a week nobody will remember Nick Delpopolo so who cares!  

Classic Rock Changed The World...

In my opinion, music is a great indicator of where we are culturally.  Music is one of the few things that has been a constant throughout the course of civilization.  Archeologists have found instruments that date back to the days of Christ.  Your great great great great grandfather was listening to something.  If you take a look at the music in The United States over the course of the last 100 years you can see where we were at culturally.  In the swinging 20's we had the big bands and jazz and this country was wealthy.  The '30's and '40's was the rise of the blues because this country was in financial despair.  In the early fifties this country began to prosper again and Rhythm and Blues turned into Rock N' Roll.  Kids began slicking back their hair, rebelling against their parents, and loosening up a bit.  In the early 60's everything began to change.  On a smaller scale Bob Dylan was writing and performing protest songs that said something about society.  On a larger scale The Beatles were invading America and this changed society forever.  4 lads from Liverpool had long hair, wrote their own pop songs, and were actually fantastic musicians. Girls loved them and guys wanted to be them.  But even more important then The Beatles' contribution to society is that musically and culturally, many young people saw the power of Rock N' Roll and said to themselves "maybe I can do that".  Guitar sales and microphone sales went through the roof after The Beatles were on Ed Sullivan.  Everyone wanted to try to find out what it was like to play in a band.  Obviously only few succeeded on a large scale.

I am fascinated by cultural movements and I am also fascinated by music.  The music made between the years of 1967 and 1977 in my opinion had a greater large scale influence on society then any generation before.   I listen to music in every genre in basically every time period from 1955 to today.  I'll admit the music between those 1967-1977 have had the greatest influence me.  What is now known as "Classic Rock" is the grandfather of every band in existence today.  Whether they openly recognize it or not, their sound has evolved somewhat by a band that was popular during that period.  Why is it that the 10 bands below are still just as popular today and would still sell out arenas, almost 50 years after their inception.


Bands That Would Or Still Sell Out Arenas Today That Came To Prominence Between 1967-1977:
1) The Rolling Stones
2) The Who
3) Led Zeppelin
4) Pink Floyd
5) The Jimi Hendrix Experience
6) The Doors
7) The Grateful Dead
8) Aerosmith
9) The Allman Brothers Band
10) Black Sabbath

Why was so much great music made between 1967 and 1977 the most significant?  I think I know.  Here's the 4 reasons why:

1) The Vietnam War - The music within that time period began to express the feelings and emotions of the young people at that time.  No longer was music on the radio just made for you to dance and sing along to.  These musicians had something to say.  They were making a statement that relayed the message to young people.  Tune In, Turn On, Drop Out.  Question authority.  Anti War.  Anti Establishment.  All those messages can be found in the music of that time.  Young kids were being drafted and dying for no reason.  The music was a reaction to that.

2) Drugs - Never had drug use become so widespread.  Kids were smoking pot, taking acid and expressing themselves like they never have before.  I believe everything happens for reason. Acid being invented and coming to the forefront at that time in history is far from a coincidence.  Drugs were expanding young people minds and creatively the musicians above were feeding off the drugs and the energy.  No generation before them had been on acid before.  It allowed young people to think differently, hence the great music made at that time.

3) Civil Rights & The Feminist Movements - Things were happening.  Self expression was everywhere.  Everyone wanted to better themselves and the opportunity for blacks and women to finally be treated as equals had come.  The country was in a time of great change socially, culturally, economically, politically.  Why not fix as many problems you can at one time.  These movements were 100 years overdue and in my opinion equal rights should've been standard since the beginning of time.  It's a ripple effect, when government is weak, the time to act is now and that's what these movements took advantage of.  The music expresses the angst and frustration of these to social movements.

4) The Space Program - Believe it or not, America's venture into space uplifted this country.  The impossible became possible and we now had more information about the universe.  It changed the way people saw the world and we realized that the solar system is attainable and infinite.  A lot of songs and movies responded to this and in that time of great turmoil America united around man walking on the moon.  It blew everyone's mind and everyone wondered what was possible.  Especially musicians.

It's amazing how things happen.  It's incredible how much transpired during those 10 years.  Everything changed and society is still reacting to those changes.  The music created at that time will live on forever.  I don't think their will ever be a musical movement like it again.  I hope i'm wrong.  What will be the classic rock of this current generation?  God only knows...

But at the end of the day who cares!

"The Fastest Man On No Legs"

I'm sure by now many of you have had the story of Oscar Pistorius, the double amputee South African sprinter who runs with 2 prosthetic limbs.  Oscar's condition raises a great  debate.  Should athletes with prosthetic limbs be allowed to compete against able bodied athletes?  This is such a tough question.  On one hand you feel inclined to say yes because that's the politically correct answer.  On the other, the dude's running on artificial carbon limbs, that must give you some sort of an advantage right?  Here are my thoughts:

Get Him A Jersey
Screw the Olympics, Oscar Pistorius would make a great running back.  He wouldn't even have to wear cleats.  I'm sorry, but does it make me a bad person to think this Oscar Pistorius situation is horseshit?  Before I get crazy, let me say that I think what Oscar Pistorius has accomplished is profound.  He displays the power of the human spirit and I for one am inspired by him.  I'm too lazy to walk to 1st Avenue with 2 legs and this dude's running in the Olympics without legs.  Simply amazing.  That being said,  he should not be competing against Olympic athletes. If you're a runner and you don't have to wear socks, then you're not an Olympic runner.  Yes, Oscar "The Blade Runner" is a great and beautiful story but the guy doesn't wear sneakers or shoelaces.  Is he qualified to run in the Olympics?

Running on carbon fibre has to be an unfair advantage.  Yes, it may be harder to turn.  But no blisters, no cramping, no athlete's foot, no use of Tinactin or Odor Eater's.  You know what, then you should be competing in the paralympics.  That's what I don't get.  What makes Oscar Pistorius so special that he doesn't only compete in the paralympics?  What's wrong with being the fastest paralympian.  Is he too good for the paralympics?  I'm too good at Wii Bowling, but I still compete against humans with arms. I don't just play against the computer.  Oscar should be breaking paralympic records, not sprinting against athletes who have the potential of twisting an ankle, pulling a hamstring, tearing an ACL or having a monster blister on their big toe.

I'm sure The Oscar Pistorius story will be coming to a theater near you.  And you know what, rightly so.  I'm inspired by it.  But it doesn't make it fair or right.  You have to ask yourself if the Olympic committee is throwing Oscar a bone for his effort or do they really believe that he is fit to compete against other sprinters with 2 feet.  It's a good question.  I wish Oscar the best.  Break a leg....sorry, it was necessary.

-At the end of everyday remember to say to yourself, who cares!

Screw The Movies! This Is The Golden Age of TV...

Once upon a time the movie theater was a magical place.  A place we sought refuge where stories would come alive and indelible characters would become part of our culture.  Up till this very day, I can remember every movie i've seen in the theater and who I was with when I saw each film.  I remember seeing Back To School with my dad when I was seven and thinking Rodney Dangerfield was the funniest man on the planet.  I saw Ace Ventura the friday afternoon it came out with 10 of my friends and we all laughed so hard that I nearly shit my pants.  I cried  in the theater like a little girl during Rudy and Forrest Gump.  I loved the movies!  Not anymore...


What happened?  What went wrong?  When did Hollywood stop making movies that mattered? Why? It seems like nowadays the only movies in theaters are comic book movies, romantic comedies, comedies (9/10 suck so i just wait for video), horror and animation.  What happened to the dramas?  Nowadays, if your last name isn't Stone, Scorsese or Spielberg most likely you're directing something that I mentioned above.  The young filmmaker in Hollywood is getting shit on and we are the ones that are shitting on 'em.  In case you haven't realized, everything's changed.


The drama now exists on TV.  Our homes have become movie theaters so I hope your microwave doesn't overcook the popcorn.   The paradigm shift started with Tivo.  As soon as we were able to Tivo shows, everything changed.  Now it was so much easier to have ongoing storylines, more in depth character development and better cliffhangers.  Almost every show your obsessing about right now doesn't exist without Tivo or On Demand.  You'd still be using VHS tapes praying that the the clock on your VCR didn't screw up and not tape your favorite show.  Lost, The Soprano's, The Wire, 24 would've still been good but not as good without On Demand or Tivo.  You would've missed epsiodes and on those shows missing episodes leaves large gaps in the quality of your viewing.


Nowadays all the best writers, actors, actresses are found on TV.  There they are able to develop characters, show the full range of their talent and have it be seen by millions of people in the comfort of their own homes.  Television has become more realistic and does not have the big budget that comes along with film. Television is based on content, not on selling popcorn and merchandise.  Nowadays even made for TV movie's and television documentaries are better then most films.  People are staying home for their entertainment and to me that's just sad.  And i'll admit, i'm guilty.


Here is a list of 10 Dramas on TV right now that are better then last year's Oscar Winner, The Artist:
1) Mad Men
2) Boardwalk Empire
3) Homeland
4) Newsroom
5) Treme
6) Breaking Bad
7) Game of Thrones
8)  Dexter
9) Girls
10) Magic City


Unfortunately there are many more.  I'll admit I only watch 6 those shows.  But i've seen bits and pieces of all of them and they're all better then the trash on the big screen.


The film industry has to go back to making good films with good scripts with actors who can actually act.  Robert Pattinson is a terrible actor.  The elephants in water for elephants were better actors then him.  Kristin Stewart doesn't know how to smile, how can she act?  She always looks scared.  You're a multi millionaire with no talent who cheats on your boyfriend.  Cheer the fuck up! Find some good scripts and actors with some chops and let's get to work Hollywood.


Enough movies about comic books, barbarians, and exorcism.  Movies used to matter.  They made significant cultural statements.  They changed your perception and pattern of thinking.  A good movie can move you and a great character becomes part of your life.


Today the characters in my life are Dom Draper, Nucky Thompson and Will McAvoy.  Everyone of them is on my TV, not the big screen.  It's the golden age of TV.


But as long were entertained, who cares!!!