A Jew On Christmas

Oh, to be a Jew on Christmas.  It's confusing.  All year long you blend in and for the most part are not looked at any differently.  But, on Christmas, Jews have the plague.  It's clear that the month of December is not for us.  I know, we have Hannukah.  Please!  Hannukah's the minor leagues next to the almighty Christmas.  Christmas rules the roost and everywhere you turn Jews are reminded that we're not Jewish.  We are like chickens with our heads cut off.  We can fly, we just don't know where to go.

It's lonely being a Jew on Christmas.  You feel left out.  We're annual outcasts and we just can't escape it.  Songs, commercials, trees, even Christmas clothing, we are constantly reminded that we don't belong.  It's ok though, we're used to persecution and oppression.  For the majority of our 5,000 year existence Jews have either been outcasts, slaughtered or enslaved.  Us Jews nowadays have it easy.  We control Hollywood and the media.  We might as well create a new Holiday.  Would nonjews know the difference?  Ask a nonjew what sukkot is.  They have no idea.  Ask me what sukkot is.  I have no idea.  It's clear we are not the chosen people on Christmas.  Or, were we just chosen not to celebrate?  I'm not sure.  I'll let you decide.

The Jewish Options on Christmas
1) Movies/Chinese Food
2) Video games
3) Card games
4) Board games
5) Drink heavily
6) Chain smoke weed
7) Watch the yule log for 24 hours
8) all of the above

Every good Jew goes to the movies and eats chinese food on Christmas.  It's The Jew thing to do.  The Jewish Christmas if you will.  Fortunately there are a lot of good movie choices this year.  Les Mis, Django, the Bin laden flick.  Jews will be seeing something and eating dumplings.
I don't know about you but I like being different.  Being a Jew on Christmas makes you different and most of the time, that makes all the difference.

To all my catholic friends....Merry Christmas!!!

To all my Jews...Baruch atah adonai, enjoy your sesame chicken!!!

Whether your Jewish, Catholic, Muslim I luv 'ya because Scott Don't Care....