It's that time of year and most heterosexual males between the ages of 18-54 are getting ready for the upcoming fantasy football season. Over the course of the next 2 weeks men will study, prepare, and get together to draft a fantasy football team. No, they aren't really coaching or playing these players. No, they are not real general managers. No, these players are not cognisant of who these men drafting them are. But yes, these fantasy football owners consider these players "their players" like they really play for them. Now i've been doing fantasy football for 10 years. I share a team with my best friend. My best friend takes this shit very seriously. So do the rest of "the owners" in my league. Am I the only guy that finds the fantasy football obsession strange?
Now I understand the competitive nature. Boys will be boys and every guy likes to be #1. But, fantasy football competition is out of control. Yes, you draft your players. Yes, you decide who starts. Yes, you can make trades and pickup guys. That's all cute. But at the end of the day the outcome really comes down to 2 things:
1) injuries
2) player performances
These are the things that are out of the fantasy football owners control and pretty much dictate the outcome of who wins and who loses.
I personally think fantyasy football is fucking stupid but I do it because it's fun to have a little bit of interest in every game and strategize with my best friend. Now don't get it twisted. I love football. But depending on strangers to win me money and give me bragging rights is pretty ridiculous.
The most amazing part about fantasy football is how serious guys take it. I know guys that sit in front of their computers from 1 PM-12 AM on Sundays just watching their players play. If that's not enough, on Monday night, if they have a player playing, they sit in front of their computers for 3 more hours. Fantasy football effects a man's mood and dictates the outcome of their week. Fantasy football can even costs men relationships. I know some guys who choose fantasy football over their girlfriends. Ladies, if your dating a guy whose a fantasy football junkie, you won't be doing brunch or getting paid attention to on Sundays for the next 4 months. Sorry.
Fantasy football has become more important to most guys then the outcome of their favorite teams game. Nowadays guys choose their fantasy football over the team they root for. I find that fucking sad. You're choosing a fictitious team over a real team that actually lines up and plays on Sunday.
Also, guys talking about the players on their fantasy team like they are "their" players. Like they truly own them or pay their salaries. They refer to them like they know them. Almost like their performing solely for their fantasy football team. Hey owners, these players don't know you. They don't give a flying fuck about you. They play for their teams and themselves. They don't care about the extra 2 yards they picked up before they went out of bounds got you .2 points to win your week.
From the outside looking in, fantasy football is really a bizarre phenomenon. 10 dudes study for a draft. 10 dudes get together and pick players over the course of 3 hours. And during those 3 hours the dudes hardly talk to one another. 10 dudes hovering over their computers for 16 Sundays for 10 hours straight. Sounds a little crazy right?
Hey, i'm guilty. I have my draft on Thursday and i'll see all my friends in one room and we'll all bullshit and catch up for 10 minutes and have a drink. 10 minutes later we'll get down to business. We'll sit down, begin to make picks and the time will just stand still. Those 3 hours feel like 3 years. Finally we'll finish, say goodnight and head out with a new team for a new year. And we won't all assemble together to the next year where the same thing will happen once again. Bizarre!
Are you ready for some fantasy football? Who cares...
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